A friend recently told me about his honeymoon, which he described as utter basura. You see, he and his newlywedded wife stayed at a B&B—and things got awkward. If you've ever stayed in a B&B, you probably know exactly what that means: They can be so lovely, but they tend not to be the most, well, private places you could stay while on vacation. That can make staying at a B&B uncomfortable for any couple but for a honeymooning couple? You can't see me right now, because I'm hiding under my bed dying of secondhand embarrassment.

In a stroke of perfect timing, this week Jezebel launched its newest addition to the family, Flygirl, a Jennifer Lopez fanfic subblog.

Which makes this a great time to ask about your honeymoon horror stories! We want to hear it all: Nightmarish airport stories, tales of hotels so grim they make the Bates Motel look charming by comparison, the time your next balcony neighbor turned his outdoor showerhead on, pointed it over the wall connecting the two spaces and flooded your balcony while you sat out there reading the newest Philippa Gregory novel.

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That last one was me. It was really something! But I bet you can top that story, which is why we'll meet in the proverbial lobby to swap the best of your tales on Thursday.

Image via Shutterstock.


Contact the author at jolie@deadspin.com.