This Is How Much You Banged on Your Honeymoon

Just about half of you had sex every single day — many of you more than once — on your honeymoon. Go on and get it, you horny goats! Proud of u.

Here are the full results of our honeymoon bangin’ poll:

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But the fun doesn’t stop there, because you all had some great and not-so-great stories to share about the sexytimes you did and did not have on your post-nuptial vacations.

LickMyRedVelvet took the “sleep, eat, swim and fuck” route on her honeymoon to great effect:

Honeymoon was a tropical paradise resort. Felt no pressure to do anything else but eat, lounge, swim, drink and fuck. Our room had a patio with a little private pool. The patios were private, so we would strip and swim naked. We tried to fuck in the pool one night and were like, “Yeah, water and sex doesn’t work very w—-OUCH!” So, we dried off and moved to the bed. Proud to say that 13 years later, we’re still fucking like rabbits.

KattyK offers the flip side to the lazy honeymooner’s experience:

We didn’t. Not once.

Our honeymoon was very adventurous, tiresome, and involved a lot of traveling (it was amazing, nonetheless). Between all that, a bad sunburn, and not spending a lot of time where we slept, it just didn’t fit into our schedule. I know it’s like, something you’re “supposed” to do on your honeymoon. But we didn’t and still had a great time.

From the OOOOOOOOF files, comes Isisveiled’s explanation of why no sexy times occurred on her honeymoon:

Planned on copious amounts of sexytime, got norovirus right after our plane landed. That pretty much sums it up.

AlsoRyanSeacreast gets extra points for her honeymoon suite hot tub:

I was 20 and he was 22. We got married on Valentines and then had a 9 day honeymoon at Caesars Palace in the Poconos. Since I was basically an adult child, I was obsessed. We had the fancy room (thx dad in law!) with a pool, sauna, champagne glass hot tub, it was INSANE. We went at it like rabbits the whole time. Also smoked like chimneys and ordered so much room service. We did it everywhere. The pool, the hottub, the bed, the couch, the floor, the bed again (a lot of times even though it felt like a college dorm mattress). There were mirrors on the ceiling. Happy ending: still married for 12 years and some change!

And rockymtnaqua gets extra points for geographical breadth:

We didn’t keep track except for a list of the states we checked off.

We started in Colorado, then Utah, Nevada, California, Arizona, New Mexico and again when we got back to Colorado.

Conservative estimate if all acts count, ehhh, probably 30+ over about a 10-day span.

But in the end, Buco Di Bippy takes it for marrying an extraordinarily good man:

None. I got my period the morning of the wedding and I have menorrhagia (thankfully just in amount and not length, my period just wants to happen all at once). I was also recovering from a health issue that made it difficult to fly, so our honeymoon was just us driving back to our home state with my mother.So on our honeymoon night, in our honeymoon suite, we watched some TV special about advertising mascots with me mostly in the bathtub. He ordered every single appetizer on room service and we had a nice picnic. On the way back we had a great time with my mother and visited relatives too ill to make the ceremony. He never complained. And that’s why, when we talk about our honeymoon, we alternately quote Charlie Tuna and The Man With A Good Attitude Towards Menstruation from Kids in the Hall. He is a goddamned prince, I’ll tell you what.