If looks could kill, the bride’s expression would have set the whole banquet hall on fire, burning anyone who witnessed this fiasco into a thin crisp of a former human. At least then everyone would be dead, with no one left to tell the tale of a groom who made a beginner’s mistake—being the drunkest person at the party—at his own wedding.

I don’t know what’s actually the worst thing about this video: The attempted lap dance, the garter pull, the part where the groom buries his face in his wife’s crotch and has to be physically removed by others. Or it might be the look of brokenness and rage on the bride’s face at the end. This was supposed to be a happy day, and the guy who was supposed to share in the joy is the same man who embarrassed and humiliated her in front of all her loved ones.

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Wait, no — the groom’s face as he chews on the garter is definitely the worst thing.

If there’s any sort of silver lining to this video going viral, it’s the fact that she can probably use it as evidence in the divorce hearing. What judge wouldn’t grant her everything she’s ever wanted based on the humiliation she’s experienced?


Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.