Honeymooners Celebrate by Stealing Ice Cream and Beating the Shit Out of Store Clerk

According to Stephen Sondheim, it’s the little things you do together that make marriage a joy. While that may be true, one couple took their love of shared activities to the extreme when they chose to commemorate their honeymoon by beating up a store clerk who suggested they might like to pay for the ice cream they were stealing.

Rocket News 24 reports that a Chinese couple, enjoying a special trip to Japan, got hungry after breakfast on Saturday and decided to stop by a Sapporo-area convenience street for some dessert—which is totally okay to eat for breakfast on your honeymoon! (Or, fuck it, anytime.) What’s not okay is that the couple either didn’t have money or didn’t want to pay for their treats and decided to just open up a package of ice cream and start chomping on it right there.

What happened next will not surprise you:

Unless you’re the Dalai Lama, however, Japanese convenience stores prefer you pay for the merchandise before you start consuming it. When the 24-year-old Japanese male clerk who was on-duty spotted what the couple was doing, he gestured for them to leave the store.

Actually, that’s the only part of this that won’t surprise you, because if you’ve ever lived in a country where stores are common, you’d know that most retailers prefer that you pay for your goods with currency. That’s why most people aren’t going into stores and jacking shit. It’s not because some of us wouldn’t if we had the chance, it’s because we know the rules. You want ice cream? You’ve got to hand over some cash.

Here’s the part that might surprise you just a tiny bit:

It’s unclear whether he first tried to speak to the couple in Japanese, or why he gestured for them to leave the store instead of pay for their ice cream. What is clear, though, is that the couple responded by punching him in the face, kicking him, and grabbing his hair.

I’d like to think that the couple was really into Tarantino movies or both members were just so embarrassed they had to do something to make themselves feel better about themselves. It’s also possible that they were drunk, or on bath salts, or just so excited to be married that they didn’t know how to express their love for each except by beating up a store clerk. Whatever their reason, however, the two were put safely behind bars after the attack where, as Rocket News 24 points out, they had to “downgrade” from ice cream to whatever a jail serves for lunch on the weekends.

At least the honeymoon pictures will be memorable. Do they let you keep a copy of your mugshot as a souvenir?