A man proposed to his girlfriend on a rowboat on Sunday, only to be tossed into the water by life’s cruel irony.
Imagine this guy, on a rowboat, traveling o’er the East River with 18 members of his rowing team. He’s already anxious about this perfect proposal, thinking to himself: I hope this boat doesn’t capsize. I hope this boat doesn’t capsize. I hope this boat doesn’t capsize. I hope this boat doesn’t capsize. And then the boat capsizes.
She said yes! Then the boat capsized, tossing everyone overboard. Officials say the boat was capsized by a succession of wakes from larger vessels passing nearby, not from the emotional turbulence that inevitably batters every couple who commits to spending their entire lives together in this fucked up world, so there’s no need to see this as a metaphor for their impending nuptials or the institution of marriage in general.
Everyone is alive and well. Rower Louis Idarraga said to ABC 7, “Everyone kept their cool. I think that’s what really kept us together. Everyone keeping their cool and nobody panicked. It was a little rough. It wasn’t that cold, but it was cold enough that we were in there long enough that it was starting to get cold.”
As with all things in life and relationships, death is imminent.
Contact the author at email@example.com.