Man Proposes to Girlfriend by Romantically Kidnapping Her at Gunpoint

Sadly, every creative marriage proposal idea has already been taken, so if you’re planning to propose to your partner anytime soon, you have two choices: Either ask them the old-fashioned way or plan an elaborate three-week kidnapping which you hope will convince them of your love. Just…don’t do the second one.

Joseph Andrew DeRusee of Austin, Texas has been arrested because he decided to terrify his girlfriend of two months into marrying him. Maybe he earnestly thought this was a good idea or maybe he thought he’d do a whole Beauty and the Beast Stockholm Syndrome scenario? I don’t know, because I have never considered kidnapping someone I loved to convince them to do anything, much less marry me forever.

From Cosmopolitan:

DeRusee used a realistic BB gun when he cornered his unnamed ex-girlfriend before handcuffing and blindfolding her. He used a sleep mask and neck pillow to make it look like she was a willing, sleeping passenger while he drove her 400 miles to a bed and breakfast.

Uh, that is one disturbed individual and one who needs to have the entire book thrown at him (along with some kind of psychiatric help). How did he even think to this? KXAN reports that while DeRusee planned to spend the three weeks at the bed-and-breakfast (would the owners not have noticed that something was up?), the victim’s family quickly reported her missing and tracked his car using GPS. When DeRusee was finally pulled over, he attempted to convince police that the woman was a willing participant but she told them that she had been blindfolded, handcuffed and kidnapped, the trauma of which I can’t even imagine.

DeRusee faces life in prison for his romantic gesture and probably has no idea that he did anything wrong. If anyone reading was planning to try anything similar on Valentine’s day, consider just taking your loved one for a nice dinner or renting a room at a hotel for the evening. If you’ve only been together for two months you should consider the boundaries of your relationship and remember that a stuffed bear and a box of candy is always an appropriate gift. A card is fine, too. Literally anything but this.